Neurottica defends Stormwind!

Apparently, the Horde were attacking Stormwind the other day (shock, I know), and our defenses were low (another shock). I happened to be in Stormwind on a shopping trip and realized that only one person could save Stormwind from the smelly Crcs, flea-bitten Tauren and hermaphrodite Blood-Elves; me!

So, on my way out I stopped by the action and cleaned up. Here's a screenie:

 

The cowards decided to kill my Imp first. It looks like the Horde that him didnt have a good idea about how much damage it would take, since he hit him for 1668 but the Imp only had about 23 health. Thanks a lot, tough guy!

Anyways, I punched this undead mage so hard she dropped her staff, put her hands on her mouth and went running back to the Horde dentist. Good riddance ya' toothless boob! Man, I'll be unstoppable when I hit level 20.

My Warlock Trainer is a Creeper

So some time after hitting level 10 I decided it was time to get my Voidwalker pet. I dont know why since I usually roll with my Imp out (by that I mean my pet Imp. freaks). Anyhoots, I have a quest that takes me to Stormwind to visit master warlock trainer Gakin the Darkbinder. Fair enough, he seems like a knowledgeable, seasoned Warlock.

And he is. He will show you the ways of the Voidwalker. How to summon one, what to do, and how you can use it to vanquish the smelly Horde with all his decades of immense wisdom. You just have to do one thing for him; kill the young broad he's been stalking because she didnt want anything to do with his wrinkled ass.

"Whatever you say, oh grandmaster pedobear!" I exclaimed as I dutifully went off to retrieve a necklace from her that the perve wanted back. Well, I got it, and the Voidwalker, so now it's off to more adventures.

The Nice Horde Gave Me A Wand!

So I hit level 10 and was frustrated that I still didnt have a stinkin' wand yet. You know, a nice Lesser Magic Wand that even a half-blind, one legged Troll rolling a gimped Discipline Priest could afford? Anyway, we dont have things like that in our auction house. In fact, the last time I checked we had three wands for sale ranging from level 27 to 50. Also, my enchanting level is way to low to make one yet. I suppose I could have begged a guildie to make me one but wheres the story in that?

So, I decided to try out my new auction house relay team (AHRT) and see if I could bring a wand back from that cesspool of a Horde homeland they call Orgrimarr. Since I already had a spy planted in the Orgrimarr auction house, it was a simple of matter of subtle espionage in trying to acquire a shiny new wand. (note - I altered my name to protect my spies identity)

[Alliance Spy]: begging for a [Lesser Magic Wand] for my main. I swear I'm not an Alliance spy. Why would you even think that. PST

The bait was set. Now it was time to see if an unsuspecting Horde would answer the call. Sure enough a Horde took the bait a few seconds later.

[Alynis] whispers: [Lesser Magic Wand]
To [Alynis]: I need on for my new warlock. I got nothing but gratitude
[Alynis] whispers: lol are you lvl 5

Uh oh, I think he suspects a trap. Time to lay on the espionage skills

To [Alynis]: no this is just my gold mule. its for my warlock
To [Alynis]: at the bank near the AH

Sometime while I was waiting, a Troll that smelled like wet feet and halibut asked me to sign his guild charter. Not wanting to blow my cover, I signed it for him. I also needed him to get away from me. Stink!

Anyhoots, a minute later my prey arrived with a brand new wand.

It smells funny, but I got the goods. Now to get it to my relay in one piece. Once again, my crazy spy training took over as I made my way through a sea of stinky death and destruction.

 

Smooth as butter. They bought it hook, line, and sinker. You can tell from their response.

  

Mission accomplished! AHRT worked like a champ and I'm now the proud owner of a new magic wand, that I have almost out leveled. But hey, it's all mine.

I learned quite a bit about the Horde opposition during my stay with them. For one, they need to bathe more. For two, they have an ingrained hatred of the Alliance and are willing to help each other out in order to destroy us. It's a common bond of brotherhood forged by hatred. Weird, I know.